Emotion Naming for “I Don’t Know What I Feel”
Why emotion naming is hard (and how that’s okay)
Some nervous systems protect by muting or blurring signals. That can feel like blankness, confusion, or only noticing thoughts. This isn’t a flaw—it’s a safety strategy. We begin where your system speaks loudest: the body. If you also feel “nothing,” pair this article with When You Feel Nothing: Healing Emotional Numbness & Dissociation and keep a simple state map handy from Window of Tolerance: A Simple Map for Feeling Safe Again.
For quick stabilisers as you practise, use 2-Minute Body Resets for Big Feelings (Save-and-Use Toolkit) and breath choices from Vagus-Nerve Breathing: 5 Patterns, 5 Situations.
Start in the body: the 3-step naming bridge
Sensation → name one body signal (pressure, warmth, tightness, buzz, heavy, floaty).
Energy level → Up, Down, or Steady.
Emotion family → Anxiety/Alert • Anger/Boundary • Sadness/Let-go • Shame/Hide • Joy/Alive • Calm/Safe.
If that’s all you do, you’re already naming. Over time we’ll add specific words, but family beats force.
Keep your system inside the Flow zone with Polyvagal Basics for Sensitive People (with Qi Gong Routines).
Quick protocols you can use anywhere
90-second “Find One Thing”
Hands on Lower Dahn Jon (below the navel). Inhale 4, exhale 6 (nasal).
Whisper: “Body first, words later.”
Point to one spot you feel anything. Say it out loud: “Warm in chest.”
Choose a family from the list above. That’s a valid name.
3-minute Interoception Drill
Taps: chest → ribs → belly (45s).
Sway: inhale as you sway out, exhale to centre (60–90s).
Name: two sensations + one emotion family.
If a surge or time-warp feeling shows up, follow Emotional Flashbacks: What They Are and How to Ground Fast.
5-minute Word Ladder
Pick a family (e.g., Anger/Boundary) → choose level:
Whisper: annoyed → frustrated → angry → furious
Body: jaw tight → heat in face → fists clench
Boundary sentence: “Something needs protection.”
Keep a printable list in your journal. Open it fast here: Open your free Meraki Journal.
Emotion families → specific words (alexithymia-friendly ladders)
Anxiety / Alert (Up) → uneasy → nervous → anxious → panicky
Anger / Boundary (Up) → irritated → frustrated → angry → enraged
Sadness / Let-go (Down) → blue → low → sad → grieving
Shame / Hide (Down) → awkward → self-conscious → ashamed → humiliated
Joy / Alive (Up) → okay → pleased → happy → elated
Calm / Safe (Steady) → settled → content → peaceful → serene
If you only reach the first word (e.g., “uneasy”), that’s success. If anger rises, channel it kindly with Shadow Work & Anger: Making Peace with the Emotions You Suppress or Healthy Anger in Shadow Work.
7-Day “I Can Name This” plan
Day 1 — Map your baseline (6 min).
Resonance breath (equal in/out) for 3 minutes, then name one sensation + one family. See Vagus-Nerve Breathing.
Day 2 — Body scan in 3 zones (5 min).
Head/face, chest/arms, belly/legs—one sensation from any zone.
Day 3 — Word ladders (5 min).
Pick two families and climb to the second word only.
Day 4 — After a trigger (3–5 min).
Use 2-Minute Body Resets first, then name sensation + family.
Day 5 — Belly-calm Qi Gong (8–10 min).
Follow the belly sequence from Qi Gong for Emotional Healing: Move, Breathe, Release and name one word at the end.
Day 6 — Conversation script (2 min).
“I notice tight chest (sensation). My energy is up. I think it’s frustration (family). I need a short pause, then I can talk.”
Day 7 — Review and choose two keepers.
Pick one drill and one word ladder to repeat daily for a week.
If the gut drives your signals (knots, reflux), add Gut–Brain Calm: Soothe Anxiety from the Inside Out. If nights undo gains, use Sleep for Emotional Healing: Night Routines that Regulate the Day.
Scripts to use when words are few
“Body first: I feel [sensation]; energy is [up/down/steady].”
“Closest family is [anxiety/anger/sadness/shame/joy/calm]; I’m not forcing specifics.”
“I need two minutes to breathe, then I can pick a word.”
“This is new moment, old pattern—I’m going slow.” (For time-warp feelings, see Emotional Flashbacks.)
Gentle Qi Gong for interoception (8–12 minutes)
Arrive (1 min): hands on Lower Dahn Jon; inhale 4 / exhale 6.
Tapping (3 min): chest → ribs → belly → hips.
Sway & arcs (3–4 min): inhale arms wide; exhale hands to belly.
Hum close (1–2 min): two soft hums; choose one word.
If social re-entry is part of your aim, try From Lonely to Linked: Nervous-System Safe Ways to Reconnect.
The Dream Method for emotion naming
Discover: Where do signals show up most (jaw, chest, belly)?
Realise: Which two drills help you detect signals (taps, sway, breath)?
Embrace: Choose one family per day—no pressure for precision.
Actualise: Log it with one line in Open your free Meraki Journal.
Master: Teach a friend the 90-second drill; practise together.
Choosing modalities to support this? Compare in EMDR, EFT, Qi Gong, or Breathwork? Choosing Your Next Step.
If resentment or shame blocks words, read Resentment Detox: Turning Stuck Energy into Boundaries and Shame vs. Guilt: Why Shame Freezes You—and What to Do.
For relationship loops, see Anxious & Avoidant: Finding Secure Ground Together or, if harmful, Trauma-Bonding: Signs, Withdrawal, and a Body-First Exit Plan.
Testimonials from people who have worked with me
“I feel better, calmer in everyday life and more flexible.” — Margreet Kikstra
“Thank you ever so much for these amazing Ki Gong exercise classes. I feel more energetic and flexible.” — Shamsun Khan
“We really enjoyed all the sessions. It has really helped to improve our health.” — Rekha Patel
Journal prompt (click to write now)
Today I can name one sensation and one family. Which two drills will I use this week to help me hear my body’s signals?
Your next kind step
Practise with guidance: Bright Beings Academy – Classes & Courses
Want help building a personal emotion-naming routine? Book a Meraki Guide Call — please complete the short questionnaire first so we can offer even more value on the call.
FAQs: Emotion Naming
What if I truly can’t feel anything?
Start with pressure/temperature/weight rather than “feelings.” Pair with gentle movement and breath, like the drills above and When You Feel Nothing.
Is it okay to name just a family (e.g., “anxiety”)?
Yes. Families are accurate enough for decisions. Precision comes with practice.
Why start with the body?
Interoception (sensing inside) is the bridge from state to word. Breath, tapping, and sway make signals louder and safer to notice. See Polyvagal Basics.
What if naming sparks more emotion?
Use a 2-minute reset first, then try again. If a time-warp feeling appears, follow Emotional Flashbacks.
Can Qi Gong really help with alexithymia?
It can help you feel more safely—tapping, swaying, and lower-belly breathing improve interoception. Start with Qi Gong for Emotional Healing.
How long until words get easier?
Many people notice clearer signals within 2–4 weeks of tiny, daily drills. Consistency beats intensity—one minute counts.
I look forward to connecting with you in the next post,
Until then, be well and keep shining.
Peter. :)
