Alexithymia: When Trauma Makes Feelings Hard to Name
What Is Alexithymia?
Alexithymia is the difficulty in identifying, describing, and expressing emotions. People with alexithymia may say:
“I don’t know what I feel.”
“I feel blank or numb.”
“I know I’m upset, but I can’t explain why.”
It does not mean you lack emotions. It means there is a disconnect between your emotional experience and your ability to process it consciously.
Trauma is one of the most common roots of alexithymia. When overwhelming experiences occur, especially in childhood, the brain may suppress or block emotional awareness as a survival strategy.
See the Emotional Healing Complete Guide for a full framework.
Signs and Symptoms of Alexithymia
Alexithymia is not a diagnosis on its own but a trait that often accompanies trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD (CPTSD). Signs include:
Difficulty naming emotions (“I feel bad” instead of “I feel sad/angry/anxious”)
Trouble distinguishing emotions from bodily sensations (confusing anxiety with stomach pain, for example)
Emotional numbness or flatness
Difficulty recognising emotions in others
Limited imagination or struggle with daydreaming
Preference for logic over feelings, even in personal matters
Feeling disconnected in relationships
For related signs, see Dissociation Explained: Fast Grounding Techniques.
How Trauma Leads to Alexithymia
When trauma overwhelms a child or adult, the nervous system may shut down awareness of emotions as a form of protection. This happens through:
Freeze response: Overwhelm triggers numbness and disconnection.
Suppression of feelings: Expressing emotion may have been unsafe in childhood homes.
Attachment wounds: Caregivers who invalidated feelings teach children to ignore or mistrust emotions.
Neurobiological changes: Trauma alters brain regions like the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, reducing the ability to link feelings with language.
Over time, this survival strategy becomes a habit. What once kept you safe later creates disconnection from yourself and others.
See Attachment Wounds and Emotional Healing for more.
The Brain and Alexithymia
Neuroscience sheds light on why alexithymia develops. Trauma affects:
Amygdala: Over-activated by fear, making subtle emotions harder to notice.
Prefrontal cortex: Underactive, reducing ability to label and regulate emotions.
Anterior cingulate cortex: Impaired in connecting body sensations with emotions.
Vagus nerve: Weak regulation prevents linking emotions to calm states.
This explains why people with alexithymia often feel somatic symptoms (tight chest, stomach pain) without recognising the emotional root.
For related insight, see Trauma and the Gut.
Alexithymia, Dissociation, and Emotional Flashbacks
Alexithymia often overlaps with dissociation. When emotions feel unsafe, the brain cuts off awareness, leaving a blank or numb state.
It can also link to emotional flashbacks, where the body relives childhood feelings of fear or shame without clear memories. People may feel overwhelmed but unable to describe what is happening.
See Emotional Flashbacks: How to Ground in the Moment.
Why Naming Emotions Matters in Healing
Being able to name emotions is not just psychological — it is physiological. Studies show that when we put feelings into words, the amygdala calms and the prefrontal cortex activates. This process, known as affect labelling, helps regulate the nervous system.
Without this skill, emotions stay stuck in the body, fuelling anxiety, chronic pain, or unhealthy relationship patterns.
See Chronic Pain, Trauma, and Central Sensitisation.
Healing Alexithymia: Step by Step
Healing begins with curiosity and compassion. Alexithymia is not a flaw — it is a survival strategy that kept you safe. The good news is that emotional awareness can be relearned.
1. Body Awareness
Since alexithymia often disconnects you from body sensations, begin with gentle awareness:
Scan your body daily for areas of tension or ease.
Ask: “What might this sensation be connected to?”
Keep a journal of physical feelings before trying to link them to emotions.
See Somatic Exercises for Trauma Release at Home.
2. Building an Emotional Vocabulary
Create a list of feelings beyond “good” or “bad.” Group them into categories (anger, sadness, joy, fear, shame).
When you feel discomfort, test words from the list. Even if you’re unsure, guessing begins the reconnection process.
Journaling supports this. See 100 Inner-Child Journaling Prompts for Healing.
3. Inner-Child Healing
Often alexithymia reflects a childhood where emotions were unsafe or invalidated. Inner-child reparenting allows you to offer safety now.
Affirmations:
“It’s okay to feel.”
“All my feelings are valid.”
“I will listen to you now.”
See Inner-Child Healing: A Gentle Step-by-Step Guide.
4. Safe Emotional Release
Once emotions are named, they must be expressed. Practices include:
Breathwork (long exhalations to release sadness or fear)
Sound (humming, sighing, chanting)
Movement (shaking, Qi Gong, dance)
See Emotional Release Techniques for Healing Trauma and Qi Gong for Emotional Healing: Move, Breathe, Release.
5. Shadow Work
Many with alexithymia fear emotions like anger or grief. Shadow work helps integrate these “unacceptable” feelings, making them less overwhelming.
See What Is Shadow Work? A Guide to Healing and Transformation.
6. Relational Healing
Because alexithymia affects empathy and connection, healing also involves practising safe relationships:
Sharing feelings with trusted friends or therapists
Asking for feedback: “Do you see sadness or anger in me right now?”
Practising co-regulation through presence, breath, or touch
See Attachment Wounds and Emotional Healing.
A Daily Practice to Reconnect With Feelings
Here’s a 20-minute routine for building emotional awareness:
3 minutes grounding with feet on the floor, noticing body sensations
3 minutes abdominal breathing
3 minutes scanning the body and labelling sensations
3 minutes journaling emotions with a feelings list
3 minutes movement or sound release (shake, hum, sigh)
5 minutes reflection: “What did I notice today?”
Over time, this retrains the nervous system to connect sensations, words, and feelings.
Final Thoughts
Alexithymia is not a life sentence. It is a survival adaptation that can be softened through nervous system regulation, body awareness, journaling, inner-child reparenting, shadow work, and safe relational practices.
With compassion and consistency, you can learn to name and feel emotions again — building connection both within yourself and with others.
For the complete roadmap, see the Emotional Healing Complete Guide.
If you’d like personalised support in reconnecting with your feelings, I offer compassion-based energy work and reflective psychology as a Meraki Guide.
Book your Free Soul Reconnection Call to explore your next step.
FAQs on Alexithymia and Trauma
1. Is alexithymia the same as being emotionally numb?
Not exactly. Numbness is one expression, but alexithymia also includes difficulty naming or describing emotions, even if you feel them.
2. Is alexithymia permanent?
No. With practice in body awareness, emotional vocabulary, and relational healing, many people improve significantly.
3. How is alexithymia linked to trauma?
Trauma teaches the nervous system to suppress feelings for survival. Over time, this disconnect becomes a default pattern.
4. Can journaling help with alexithymia?
Yes. Journaling paired with a feelings list helps bridge the gap between body sensations and emotional language.
5. Does alexithymia affect relationships?
Yes. It can make empathy and emotional intimacy difficult, but relational healing and co-regulation can restore connection.
I look forward to connecting with you in my next post.
Until then, be well and keep shining.
Peter. :)
